Boing Boing links to a post today made on Toothpaste for Dinner which, in an awesomely funny way, hits the nail on the head about Second Life in a number of ways.
The thing is… well… I’m not quite sure how to say this…
It’s a bit shit, isn’t it?
I mean, there’s been endless amounts of purple prose written about how it’s the future of the internet, that it allows infinte amounts of personal expression, changes the economy, revolutionises communication and is the next step in our evolution, but is it really? Isn’t it just another, fairly ropey, 3D MUSH? Hasn’t it already been done a bunch of times, inevitably ending in failure?
Let me share my experience. First, there’s downloading and installing the thing, which exposed me to a whole lot of cringe-inducing copy about how my Second Life was just around the corner, how much better it would be than the depressing, windblown husk of my Real Life and how I would never need to leave my flat again, except to stock up on Doritos and Coke to fuel the decaying, bloated hulk that my First Body would become now that I didn’t need it any more*. I thought this was a shame, as I quite like my Real Life. It involves tea, and my friends. And cake. And girls.
*I may be paraphrasing slightly.
Then comes the birth of my Second Life, which, as I remember, involved some very tedious playing with sliders and stuff to alter my astoundingly low poly-count avatar. I like to represent myself online as closely as possible to my actual appearance, cos I’m that kind of tediously literal guy, bound by my shackled mind to the fleshy prison I was unfortunate enough to be born into. Unfortunately, because this is the realm of possiblity, the closest I could get was this vaguely elfin, androgynous guy with pointy ears. I think his skin and/or ears were green. Then more tedium, in the form of a tutorial which taught me how to walk around, and fly (jerkily). Then a plaza, filled with lots more people flying around (jerkily) and sod all else. I think there were a few “clubs” and things, consisting of, as Drew so aptly put it “full of…. cubes… with bad JPEGs on the side.” Logged out with a vague sense of disappointment and a lingering aftertaste of Adobe Atmosphere (circa 2000 vintage).
I’m willing to be proved wrong here. I’m well aware that online 3D worlds have to sacrifice fidelity and detail in the name of bandwidth. I’m a geeky developer for fuck’s sake, I grew up reading Neuromancer and Snow Crash, wishing that the virtual worlds depicted therein existed. The idea of being able to build, script and orchestrate stuff in a multi-user environment gets all the right juices flowing. It’s just such a horrible user experience that I was turned right off. Mainstream games like WOW and Half Life 2 get it right – compelling, relatively intuitive, high-enough fidelity multi-user 3D worlds – why can’t Second Life learn from these guys? Make it easy for us!